Viki Jeanne

A few months ago I simply could not get up at 5:45 for my sunrise yoga class (I know, it sounds insane but it's so worth it). I went to another class with a new teacher from Baltimore, who had just arrived fresh from her Thai massage studies in Thailand (redundancy alert). I get very attached and accustomed to my routine, as most of us do, and truthfully when you aren't vibing with a new yoga teacher, it's annoying since the classes are long. This is obviously a lesson in non attachment and flexibility. In being open to new methods and new approaches. It's something we all need to work on, and it only serves us well. For every lousy experience there will be five amazing ones. Well, on this particular day I was introduced to Viki. It was yogi love at first sight. Glowing skin, a calming delivery, a radiance in her eyes, and a deep joy at having just come to our location to teach. What sold me on her was a sentence she said that I will never forget as long as I live. I have called upon it every single day since I first heard it. It was this, "I promise you, you are being taken care of". I have never been spoken to like that before, ever. It was a security I have never had, but I believed her immediately. As I sat grounded to the earth I did feel supported and sustained. Viki said this with such gentle conviction. I was blanketed in safety and love. Such a short phrase that is really all we need to know.

When we feel safe and cared for, we have courage and belief, which lead to pretty much everything. Adults need to hear this just as much as kids do. Think of how many times throughout the day you try to make your kids know they are safe and loved. Who tells this to us? So much adult nonsense comes from fear. If we did ever feel really enveloped and secure, we somehow detach from the root of that as we get older. And things go off the rails in our minds and lives. My orthodox upbringing had really helped me mold so easily to the belief I have in yoga, since faith and belief is built into my wiring. I am deeply grateful for that. I have never questioned God, a higher power, spiritual reincarnation, or the powers of nature. I know I am cared for by the elements because in Judaism we are trained to bless nature all the time. Jewish mysticism is so otherworldly, as is yogic philosophy. It's natural for me to draw from one belief system to the other. Fear is what holds us back from growth and change, for obvious reasons. In that one statement Viki released us from ever needing to rely on fear as a trap. It took my breath away in its truth, and it has allowed me to go forth. Most of my anxieties I previously clung too have melted away. I'm not afraid of change. I know I'll be ok. I have spent holidays and vacations differently than ever before. Forty years of doing something the same way can feel strange to deviate from. Nah, it really doesn't phase me. I feel excited and resilient. What did scare me prior, before I knew I was being taken care of, was living out identical years until I eventually died. That ate at me like crazy. Every change I have made, whether with grace or a measure of trepidation, I owe to my teachers. Sure it was myself too, but they hold my hands from afar. I have started trying to relay this message to my kids more. I don't know if I always did the best job, since I didn't feel safe myself. You can't give what you don't have. But my children seem pretty resilient and steady, which means maybe I've done better than I thought... It's never too early or late to hear these words. My gorgeous Viki, thank you for leaving Baltimore and teaching that class that day at that time. There are no accidents. Meeting you was proof I am indeed being taken care of. I believe you.

Love always, Jess

Grandma's Sweet Cheese Pie

I found this other Bubbie Shirley gem while flipping through my bridal shower recipe collection. It feels good to share as much of her joy of cooking with you as I can. She really was talented in the kitchen. Here's a visual; Shirley was tall, about 5'10, black hair, brown eyes, and very regal and statuesque. I most certainly did not get her height. She loved to write greeting cards in her beautiful script for every occasion. She was excellent at rhyming, something she passed down to many women in the family, myself included. She loved to write her own lyrics to songs and sing them to the crowd at family occasions. I definitely have done that my whole life 🙋🏼. She ended every song or poem with her signature lines,

"Mazal and bracha, gazunt and Hatzlocha, we wish it all for you."

That is Jew speak for blessings, health, and success. We all knew these lines were coming, so the crowd would jokingly sing along in unison. The power of words and music bringing people together never ceases to amaze me. The same holds true for food.  This dessert is perfect for a brunch, dairy meal, and the upcoming holiday of Shavuot.

Oven 350. Mix a cup and a half of graham cracker crumbs with 1 tbsp of cooled, melted butter. Press down firmly and evenly in a greased 10 inch pie plate or springform pan. Bake the crust for ten minutes. Set aside.

Filling: a pound of farmer cheese. 3/4 cup each whole milk and sugar. 1 egg. 1 tsp vanilla. Mix well, pour in crust, and bake 20 minutes. Let cool completely. Whip a cup of sour cream or plain yogurt with a tsp and a half of vanilla. Spread on top of pie. Top that with sliced strawberries, any type of other berry, or drained crushed pineapple. Do not attempt if you are lactose intolerant😂.

Listen to Any Way You Want It by Journey

Vex and the City

 I have entered the world of dating, something I've never done. Having gotten married at 20, the only "dates" I went on were movie/hang out situations with yeshivah boys. Fast forward two decades later, I am dating Men. I am learning that despite age defining a guy as a technical man, he can be just as infantile and emotionally challenged as an adolescent. Truthfully, the boys that really liked me in high school were quite honest about that. Of course I had the required experience of pining after one guy who was consistently an asshole for two years, but I chalk that up to initiation. Most of us go through that. If we like, love, and cater to them enough, they'll come around, right? A big part of me still thinks that. I need to recondition that thinking ASAP. I know that often stems from insecurity with girls, but it's the opposite with me. Miraculously, despite having a list of reasons why I should be an emotional mess, I have always had a very clear sense of self. I have always been confident, secure, and comfortable with who I am. I never went through the "I'm not good enough and I suck" phase. I feel blessed with that, it's a really hard hole to dig yourself out of.  Rather, I think I'm so darn terrific that OF COURSE this male will be falling all over himself to be with me 😂 (note the emoji meant to add a drop of ironic self deprecation, though I mean this).
 

I learned that there is ego in that statement. Not in believing in myself and having acute awareness about my sense of Jess, but ego in that other people's issues have nothing to do with me. In other words, if a dude has unhealthy emotional problems, deep rooted insecurities, erratic behavior patterns, or fear of commitment, then those things live within him and are not in any way tied to me. Assuming that meeting me once or twice, even on fantastic dates, will automatically erase decades of buried emotional shit, is foolish on my part. As I'm figuring this out, I'm realizing that it's not just me knowing what I bring to the table. IT'S JUST THAT I AM SO NORMAL, SO I DO NOT PROCESS WHEN SOMEONE IS NOT. I had to scream that in caps. I naively assume everyone is a balanced, emotionally tapped in, honest person like myself. I keep hearing and seeing more and more that this isn't the case.

I recently was fixed up with this guy and had two of the most phenomenal dates in history. Natural, easy hours of conversation that ran both light and deep. Zero awkwardness. Jokes. Compliments. Hand holding. Intense physical attraction. I really enjoyed myself. I felt adored, seen, and understood, which is what every relationship should feel like. I had good reason to believe this would evolve in the same manner in which it had begun. NOPE. While the dates were wonderful, his in between communication skills were terrible. As in nonexistent. I wouldn't hear from him for long periods of time, which felt so rude and disrespectful. I really took that as a lesson in patience and restraint. I did not reach out on between, hoping to spark conversation, as I've always done in the past. I got to a place of gratitude for the lesson: Jess, not everyone thinks like you. I mediated on being more open minded, and on bringing in all my yoga teachings about having a pliable, open mind and heart, not just a body. I really liked him so I did not want to judge him. But I also knew that a relationship, especially in the beginning, shouldn't feel so frustrating. There was too much anguish too soon. It was ridiculous. I have come way too far to tolerate anything less than what I deserve and yearn for. After going dark the first time, I eventually got this long, seemingly sincere apology about him being overwhelmed with some personal stuff🙄, but that he had such a great time and would love to see me again. I saw humility in that text, so I was gracious, cool, and agreeable to another date. I wanted to believe it was a fluke.

Date 2 was off the charts wonderful, and he was so apologetic again. Um, then he checked out again for the exact same time he did prior (nine days but who's counting?). Date 2 ended with him telling me to reserve a certain weekend so we could go out, after he returned from a family vacation. I waited and waited, dumbfounded that he would repeat the exact same behavior he just apologized for. It made no sense. There was zero follow up about the weekend date. I was beyond agitated and it took over my every thought. I threw out a "hey, how was your trip?" text. What I got back were six pictures of his family on the beach. Er....?

Listen, I am very energetically perceptive. I always have been. I know when someone likes me, is vibing with me, and is physically attracted to me. That part was there. The second part of consistency, maturity, and follow up was not. There were other red flags I chose to roll with, honestly since I really am a very open minded and understanding woman, and I really want a relationship. It sounded like he never had a loving, serious relationship. He said he'd never been in love but I figured he just hadn't met the right person (me). In describing some past relationships, all the women mentioned sounded broken and inept, but yet remained topics of conversation. He's in touch with most of them. Why keep in contact with chicks like this?? They must make him feel masculine and superior. The Hunter, the Hero, the Fixer.

There are other parts to the story that lead me to believe he was vastly insecure. One such detail was that he told the person who fixed us up that he was slightly intimidated by all the cool things I'm doing, blog, DJ, etc.   🚨🚨🚨 Lame Alert‼️ I will not apologize for being a full woman with dreams, goals, and interests. What I'm doing now is just the beginning, so if a man can't handle these initial stages of me writing and playing music , then HE is the one who is broken and lost. Perhaps he collects women like that as some messed up support group. It was all very self destructive: I knew he really liked me but his deep rooted issues destroyed the chance of anything real taking hold. When I feel a pure connection to someone, I roll with it full steam ahead 🚊. I am a healthy girl, so I process connections in a true, healthy manner. Which means the opposite case exists as well; unhealthy people will take that true connection and have no clue where to go with it. I have never examined things in these terms. It is a vexing necessary evil in understanding why men, who I really don't know, can act like such assholes. It has nothing to do with me. I keep hearing "men are the worst" etc. I don't believe that and I can't believe that. I don't want to ever get to the place where my optimism and innocence turns dark and bitter. What I need to learn is that these guys are coming to the restaurant table with years of shit that I can't see after several hours. I have nothing to hide, but that's rare.

Most humans in both genders have massive triggers and complexities that have never been dealt with. I certainly don't want the job of digging through someone else's crap. No thanks. This guy was so extremely inconsistent. He'd have bailed eventually. I think my assured nature threatened him. Age doesn't define a man, clearly. Emotional maturity and sensitivity does. Consistency, reliability, security. Respect. I honestly learned a lot from this.  It makes me feel a little sad that I have to curb my enthusiasm when I know there's a real spark and connection, but I guess that's life. Specifically dating life. I never understood what it meant to protect myself emotionally, but I'm getting educated. It means protecting my heart so I don't watch as it gets run over by someone who doesn't deserve a license. Chemistry and connection are natural, but I need to mix those with logic and caution. Blech. I heard this shit happened, but I never thought it'd happen to me. Nothing more to say but "onward". 

Sour Cream Coffee Cake

This is one of my Bubbie Shirley's famous recipes. For those of you who have been reading the blog from the start, she is the grandmother of applesauce fame. She was a phenomenal cook. There were things she made from scratch that I've never known anyone else to make. Chocolate pudding, gefilte fish, perfect pinwheel cookies. She made these tiny, chocolate chip cookies that looked as if they came from a factory. Every holiday that she and my Pop would visit for, she'd bring the chocolate chip and pinwheel cookies in these vintage tins. One blue, the other yellow. They had a flower motif. Those cookie tins were synonymous with her, and they were all I wanted after she died. No one could find them. However, I did get something really special from her apartment that I use and cherish. A metal bread box that's easily 100 years old. It was from her mother, my GG (great grandmother). It's large but fits perfectly in one of my counters corners.

Having it in my kitchen brings me joy. I am very sentimental, and it's so cool to know that I am another homemaker of a different generation using this heirloom. Bubbie's sour cream cake, with its sheer, delicate coating of sugar on top, was fought over by everyone. Second slivers stolen when no one else saw. There was never one crumb left. I love sharing meaningful recipes with you. Food really is love❤️. Bubbie Shirley, this one is for you🍰.

Ingredients:

1 stick butter or margarine softened

1/2 cup shortening

1 cup sugar

4 eggs yolks and whites separated

1 cup sour cream

3 cups Presto flour sifted.  **Sifting is a must here. This cake has the most delicate texture because of it.

 1 tsp vanilla

Directions:

Beat butter and shortening in a mixer with paddle attachment, gradually add sugar, add egg yolks one at a time mixing after each, add sour cream, slowly fold in the flour, vanilla, and egg whites. EGG WHITES MUST BE BEATEN STIFF PRIOR (eek, sorry for yelling but this is crucial. I want perfection for you!).

Put in a ten inch UN greased tube pan. Add the following crumb mixture on top. OMG, the topping is magic I swear. 1 tbsp shortening, 2 each tbsp flour and sugar. Mix flour and sugar with a fork, add shortening.

Bake at 350 for one hour.

She's so cute. I got this recipe from her own handwritten card at my bridal shower. At the end she wrote "be Tay Avon". This is Hebrew for Bon ap petit 😊. Bubbie Shirley died many years ago, but I still taste her cake in both my mouth and heart 🍰👄❤️. From her kitchen to yours. I'm just the messenger here. 

Leanne Marshall

The Leanne Marshall show was all about love❤️. Held on Valentine's Day, her signature brand of feminine romanticism was the perfect closure to Fashion Week. Let's face it, the fashion industry isn't always the warmest, fuzziest biz, especially in NYC. I love New York but it is indeed a vast concrete jungle. Leanne Marshall reinforced the idea that love is above all else. There are never enough reminders of this. Love was felt immediately upon entrance, as each seat was thoughtfully adorned with a stunning love note containing a rose colored, laser cut, paper tree. It was the most beautiful touch. It was heartwarming that the designer made sure to include such sweet detailing for her audience. I took my card home to my kids, my 8 year old son loved it and put it next to his bed. 

Leanne was the 2008 Project Runway winner, and since then has shown at every Fashion Week. True to her California roots, her entire collection was made from leftover bridal designs and organic cotton. Chunky knitwear, subtle stripes, and oversize jackets wowed in bold, unique color combos. Her signature silk chiffon gowns flowed in vibrant color duos like navy and citron and  turquoise and mustard. Metallic bronze and dusty rose also draped the 40 different models walking her runway. That was the best part; the wide range of models in color, height, and weight. All shapes and sizes were honored. True beauty means inclusion.

The show ended with Leanne's new cutie pie fiancée leaping up from his seat to give her a huge bouquet of red roses. Aw😘😘😘🌹🌹🌹. Loving gestures bookended the entire show. It was a terrific way to conclude the hectic craziness of NYFW.

As for moi, I went with drama. My look centered around my daughter's storm trooper backpack from Target. No joke. I paired that with this marbleized two piece ensemble from Norma Kamali. It's a romper and large scale cargo coat. I just put a turtleneck and tights underneath to winterize it, and I will use any excuse to wear a hood. I felt very futuristic and I loved it. "Mom, did you take my Star Wars backpack without asking me????" was an inevitability I was prepared to face👽. Mazal Tov, Leanne!! Wishing you and Remy a long life full of love, laughter, creativity, and organic materials✌🏼️❤️👰🏼. 

Listen to Parting Glass by Ed Sheeran

Phenomenal Woman, That's Me

It was just International Women's Day. Frankly, I've never heard of that before, but I'm under a rock in many ways. I am a mix of highly aware and totally unaware. It's quite symbolic that I have never heard of it before; this is the first year of my life that I'm fully embracing myself in all ways, especially as a woman. I find my discovery of this day as being consistent with my discovery of my own female powers. All the lady love on social media is wonderful. If we have national days celebrating nonsense like donuts and pizza🙄, we can damn well have a women's day🍩🍕🙋🏼.

Only women who love themselves can freely give love and credit to others. Those that can't are shackled down by insecurity and jealousy. It's a simple equation. I know from my own personal journey of growth, that those times I leaned more towards criticism or judgement were clear indicators of my own lacking. If I wasn't in a secure, happy place then I wasn't entirely happy for others. So much time was wasted like this. I didn't like thinking or sounding like a catty bitch, but it was all I knew. I was constantly surrounded by whining, negative women who have a negative comment for everything, so I just assumed this was how chicks roll. Now I realize it's a mental prison of their own making, and I was paroled. A female penitentiary in the abstract sense. Those inmates be crazy bitches. I have separated myself entirely from anyone who exists on those patterns. It's not in keeping with the vibration I have discovered, and work so hard to maintain. Honestly, tearing others down is a form of laziness. It avoids doing self study to try to figure out why you're acting like that. It's like emotional junk food; a bite of something chemical and poisonous that tastes good, but that will rot your insides. Shitting on others momentarily feeds the ego since it makes us feel superior in that moment, but then we crash and feel bad. So we keep doing it. It's a vicious cycle many women never get out of. It's a life sentence.
   

My newfound and hard earned emotional, mental, and spiritual freedom has gifted me so many things. One of the most important results of this has been this incredible group of women who are my absolute support system. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. It overwhelms me with gratitude. They are my family in the truest sense. I am single but I am never alone. As I navigate so many changes in my life, I feel bolstered by this loving female safety net. These women believe I can do anything. They put the abstract concept of unconditional love into practice. Some I've known for a long time, some short. Some I speak to often, others sporadically. Those details are irrelevant, the feeling I get from our spiritual connections is the same. I usually never name those I reference, but I feel like doing it now. Stephanie, Betsy, and Vicki are my yoga teachers and healers. They more than anyone taught me how to love and embrace myself. Thereby enabling me to embrace life. The women in my sunrise yoga class who I see every morning to gather energy from. We need no words to speak to each other. Tzvia, whose presence in my life is hard to describe. Nyla and Rogue, my DJ inspirations, my messengers of music. Kate, my Scratch friend. Shira, Deena, and Sarrah; holy shit. I haven't found the words yet for them, and I'm pretty wordy. Aimee and Eden give me wisdom for days, and laughs for years. Karen, Sonja, and Federica opened up worlds. Chavi and Nikki are so loving, always with an ear. M the phoenix. Netali for giving me my first job. And my fellow LB , who has been providing me with love, laughs, life coaching, and our own unique brand of lunacy since we are 15. The leash she has me on, which stretches from the West Coast, gives me freedom to grow while seeing the open potholes before I do. This girl could write a fat book on me, that's how well she knows my every single artery and vein.

It is deeply joyful and gratifying to observe how my daughters have built their own female support systems. Each of my girls has had the same BFF since they're 4 and 6, respectively. E has J, who is like my 5th child, and L has E, the kindest kid on earth. My kids must be very good friends themselves to receive such friendship bonds from others. This fills me with pride. Friends are the family we choose, and blood is not always thicker than water. Family is a feeling. Sisterhood is energetic. I wish for my daughters that they always have these carefully chosen, loving, loyal bonds. Women have a biological need to reach out to one another and forge connections as deep as roots. When our arrow lands on the right person it's magical.

All these women allow me to go forth and figure myself out. I am brave but very innocent, vulnerable yet strong. As all women are. We are braver and more vulnerable if we are together. We bring out the best in each other. I can fly since I have clearly identified this group as my landing pad. Emergency landings included, and there will be many. One day we will all be on a mountain top together doing you know what...  The feminine mystique...

Love, LB 2.0

Kale and chickpeas in tomato sauce

I stopped eating meat and chicken three months ago, pretty much overnight. I started to have a hard time eating things that were once in such pain. I know the animals are being killed anyway, and I do believe from a religious standpoint that God intended us to eat them as part of the circle of life. I just didn't want to participate anymore. Fish is on the way out too. I'm just slowly losing interest.  I think meat tastes delicious, but the texture started to feel awkward and unappetizing. I don't miss it, and I feel so good putting mostly plant based foods on my body. I feel cleaner and leaner. I haven't weighed myself in years, but a few people have commented that I look a bit thinner. Who knows, but I'll take it🙋🏼. Watch, I just wrote that so of course I'll wake up bloated AF tomorrow 🐋.

I have incorporated more healthy carbs into my diet, in the mornings so I can work it off the rest of the day. This is a nice change too, since carbs are yummy. As my trainer says, "carbs are not the enemy. It's which ones you eat and when you eat them that matters." My fave breakfast is a cup of Special K protein plus soaked in almond milk, in between yoga and cardio. It makes the cardio a little less dreadful🔫 by giving me extra motivation to burn it off. My daughter requested I make something like this after seeing the concept in a food mag. This is a child who has been known to order potato chips from Amazon, so I was thrilled to receive such a request! She was like, "I might eat this..." This dish took ten minutes and was a big hit. It's a fabulous vegan main or side. Serve over a grain such as Farro to really make it a complete meal.

Ingredients:

•  Two pounds chopped kale.
• A large can of crushed tomatoes.
• A can of chickpeas rinsed and drained.
• A cup and a half vegetable broth.
• Half a tsp each salt and garlic powder, a quarter tsp pepper.   

Directions:

Heat 3 tbsp olive oil in a wide pot or deep pan. Sautée kale, adding broth as needed to deglaze the pan, a couple tbsp at a time.

When kale is softer and bright green, add the crushed tomatoes and rest of broth. Stir well. Add seasonings. Simmer covered on low  for ten minutes. Add chickpeas and simmer another ten minutes. Adjust seasonings to taste. Serve over bowls of Farro, brown rice, or whole whole grain pasta     

Dennis Basso

The Dennis Basso daytime ready to wear collection was awash in high glam. The location of the show set the scene for NYC drama at its best. Held in the famous St. Bartholomew's church on Park Ave, the mood of the show was "ok, major". For you Jews reading this, that church is basically identical to the interior of Kehilat Jeshurun. I was seriously looking for Rabbi Haskel Lookstein. For you non Jews, these are weird synagogue references, filled with words containing an unacceptable amount of syllables😂.

This was the church in Sex in the City in which Carrie and Miranda went to spy on Big and his mom. Iconic nods everywhere! This is New York, Peeps. Ain't nothing like it. It was so refreshing to have a change of location during NYFW. The parking was also waaaayyyy better here👏🏻. Dennis Basso is known for his gowns and furs, so this was a beautifully dressed, good looking crowd.

The base concept for the collection was to suit the changed needs of the well dressed woman who mixes it all up. Women are getting less fancy. We are bringing day into night and vice versa. There are no rules regarding daywear and evening wear anymore. Sparkling gowns one might see on the ladies of Dynasty have become less relevant. DB magically mixed his classic show-stopping glamor with more casual cool fabrics such as leather, tweed, and cashmere. The results were truly genius. Contrasting colors, textures, and fabrics all so representative of the classy, modern boss lady who knows what's up. THIS is dressing in 2018.

I got to see my old friend Jack Cohen of Dennis Basso. Jack designed my DB dress for my eldest's bat mitzvah four years ago. He was greeting everyone at the church doors, and I was so happy to see him. Such a mensch! The modern music was pumping, and was a rad juxtaposition to the church setting. The vaulted ceilings, pews and balconies, and massive organ made for quite a dramatic presentation. The beautiful Hillary Rhoda walked the last dress with DB, and it was very exciting to see this supermodel sashaying down the runway. I wore a Dennis Basso fur over a sheer burgundy dress, that was so generously gifted to me by Leanne Marshall ,via the Riviera PR agency, for Fashion Week. I wore the dress over a black jumpsuit, with a hand beaded gray and burgundy collar that I bought on the beach in cancun. Always mixing it up. This was a really special, beautiful show. I was so grateful to have been in attendance. Can I sign off as Lady Basso?

No Sleep Till Brooklyn

So guess who just discovered the AIRBNB app? 🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼.

I swear I feel as if my whole world has expanded, which it has. This app is so addicting because it's fraught with real, viable possibilities. It's teaching me a lesson I've been dying to learn; how to travel in an affordable, exciting, authentic manner. I hated taking trips and sitting in some boring, sterile lobby. I much prefer getting down and dirty while getting a real feel for where I am. Otherwise, I don't see the point of just physically relocating my body, in order to snap a couple of obligatory photos. It's a shitty feeling to be posting pics of a carefully planned vacation, while feeling that you're not really having fun. It's super depressing. If you've never had a trip that, well, I don't believe you.

My BFF SF and I always say we love people who can admit that their trip sucked. That the kids fought, that it was a tad too much togetherness with the hubby. These are uncomfortable things to admit. After all, trips cost a lot. They are laden with expectation. It's hard when we reasonably attach results to a few days and it's disappointing. We all want to feel we maximized our hard earned vacation days, and be proud we pulled off real quality family time. SF tells me I'm one of the few women who can give an honest, post trip report. It's not statistically possible that every time everyone you know boards a plane, that it's "the best trip ever!" 🙄🙄🙄. It's a tough pill to swallow, when after presenting yourselves with the ingredients for a perfect, frolicking, loving, reconnecting week with the fam, well, that you were all kind of over each other after two days. It feels like a failure. I've been there, and it's very normal. After all, most of "normal" is comprised of less than ideal circumstances.   

First on my new travel agenda: Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Land of Hipsters. I'm actually here right now, typing this in front of "my" brick walled fireplace. My good friend FM is here with me. We came for two nights for a "stay cation". Sure, we live 45 minutes away, but so what? We decided to live somewhere else for 48 hours, and enjoy a part of New York that's famous for its food, energy, vibes, shopping, and man buns. We are eating in cool, delicious restaurants. We walked around for hours, shopped for quirky, vintage finds, each got new ear piercings (a third for her left ear, a fourth for mine), and saw incredible street art at every turn. The weather is pretty warm, a tropical 52 degrees, so the streets are packed with cool, smiling city folk who are happy to be outdoors. I feel like I'm in San Francisco in the late 60's. We hung out in DUMBO last night after dinner, and are going to a party in the Gowanus area tonight with assorted peeps. I bought a hat and bow tie that make me feel like Pharrell. I've made the prerequisite jokes about how I'm in the throes of a mid life crisis, but I'm not. I'm just at the beginning of starting to explore life, and that only stops at death. How wonderful it is to see couples in their 80's traveling, doing, going, laughing, holding hands. Me please! Wanderlust has no age.

The apartment I took looks like a Pottery Barn catalog. The bed was amazing. I stocked the fridge with overpriced, organic essentials. It feels like home, which is exactly what makes leaving your real home so yummy. My hosts have been great. The place looked like the photos. I'm sure there a couple lemons will pop up, but I'll chalk it up to life experiences. I'm excited to save money traveling this way. For the price of one first class seat, I can take several trips like this. Goal for 2018: do more with less. Live more simply. Collect experiences, not things. Trust me, if you need that first class seat or huge suite to feel like your trip was a success, that's a huge red flag. Folks who are having real fun don't think about that. Be those people. Be so busy and happy that you forget to post. Be open to new experiences, you'll never regret trying. Write new stories for your life. Our lives are a book, what's on the pages is in your hands entirely.

Safe, happy travels, the 🐝 in Brooklyn

Listen to All out of Love by Air Supply

Listen to All out of Love by Air Supply

Vivi Zubedi

This was the most moving show I attended, and the post I was most looking forward to writing. I was unfamiliar with the designer, so I was not expecting a collection of Muslim hijabs to float down the runway. Initially I found it ironic that a former orthodox Yeshiva girl wound up in the front row of this show. Then I applied what I was looking at to my world, and I was overcome with emotion. If a stifled Hasidic woman from a super repressive and restrictive environment were to come out with her own clothing line at NYFW, I'd be doing backflips down the runway. It is irrelevant that I can't actually do a backflip.

Women in general have to fight harder for our voices to be heard. Ultra religious women have it waaaayyyyy harder.  Without knowing anything about Vivi Zubedi, I felt so strongly that she must be a very special person, one who is so clear and strong in her vision. She wears a hijab as well, and nowhere does it say women cannot combine their alliance to their religious beliefs with fashion, creativity, and beauty. GOOD. FOR. HER. 👏🏻. Any religious person that would ever criticize something like this as "immodest" is full of shit. That a woman is only godly if she stays out of the line of vision?? Really?? That implies that God created half the population to hide themselves and disappear, going to make babies and dinner quietly in the corner. Only being seen if men so generously choose to glance at them🙄🖕🏼. If life is beautiful, and God is beautiful, then we are not only allowed but obligated to live in a state of beauty.

What Vivi did was bring beauty and religion together. Celebrating women that celebrate God. The message and meaning kept coming in waves, and the designs were so detailed that it was clear this woman poured every ounce of her being into making them. There were a lot of designs, the collection clearly took a tremendous amount of time and intention. With her talent for mixing textures, accessories, patterns, and embellishments, Vivi made the hijab interesting, beautiful, feminine, and fashionable. These are not garments intended to hide the wearer.  Printed sneakers and baseball hats gave the clothes a modern athletic kick. Muslim Athleisure. Hijabs with chains, pearls, funky belts had me considering conversion ✡☪🕉☮. Def prettier than what one would see in Borough Park on a Friday afternoon.

I don't believe in the traditional definition of modesty. I don't see it as external. I define modesty as how you operate from your heart and spirit. Having been overexposed to a religious belief system that defines modesty as external, I have become disillusioned with the focus on the outside of people. It drives me crazy. It is a mistake to teach that as a focus of life, in any religion. What joins us as humans is what we share inside. Underneath any clothing we are made of the same stuff. Same heart, same blood, same breath. However, I am certainly familiar with religious dress. I so admire how ViviZubedi demonstrated that irregardless of religion, women are beautiful and want to feel beautiful. 

Coming from Jakarta, Indonesia, Vivi was originally an accountant. After realizing her dream was in fashion, she became focused on bringing Muslim dress into the fashion arena. This particular collection is special, since its goal is to bring awareness and economic support to the ancient female weavers of South Kalimantan. A region in Borneo, this area is known for the time honored techniques and traditions in how their women weave and craft artisan fabrics. The difficult techniques are what make the fabrics so special and original. The weavers range in age from teens to elders. By using these fabrics in her collection, Vivi, a champion of women worldwide, hopes to show the world the beauty of this ancient craft. How wonderful; to use Fashion Week to spotlight a group of women that most of the world doesn't even know exists. Vivi brought godliness to fashion week not only through her designs, but more so through her humanitarian. She used her voice for sheer good. THAT is why we are here. Injecting the fashion world with true acts of kindness and support for our fellow man makes all the psychotic bitchiness and seat grabbing worth it (I'm talking to a certain blogger here...but she won't read this...if she can even read...).       

As for moi, I went 70's boho chic. Bell bottom jeans, vintage fur coat, purple boots, and a silk scarf tied under my wide brim hat. Cross body bag embroidered with bright flowers, purchased on the beach in Mexico. I felt like I raided Steven Tyler's closet, which is exactly what I was aiming for🎤.

Branching In 🌳

 Certain inquiries about my divorce amaze me. One such question would be why I still consider my ex husband's family to be mine. As in, "why do you call his dad your father in law?" or "why are you attending that first cousin's event ?". These questions make me sad in their narrow mindedness.  I have never seen why all those relationships should cease to a halt because of signatures on a stack of papers. Why draw such harsh lines? I have had to redefine my definition of family many times over the course of my life, and that will continue as I hopefully add to my personal family tree.

What's so liberating is that I am choosing and deciding which branches remain attached to my trunk. Some branches dried up and cracked off pretty darn quickly, and I was ready to shed them. However, there are many others in the form of extended family that I'm keeping. It feels very evolved, open minded, and open hearted, which is how I'm living my life overall. I was recently asked what I'd call my current in-laws, should I one day acquire a new set.  Easy; I'd just have two sets. Who said there can only be one? My heart is certainly big enough to keep including more people of value into it. I'm quite proud that I have maintained connections to so many of the cousins, aunts, uncles, and second cousins. Ten of them stayed in my home last weekend for a family event, and I was thrilled to have them. Love and connection defines family, not black and white guidelines.

Last night I went to the wedding of one of those cousins, and admittedly I was a tad curious how I'd feel. Would it annoy me if I felt people were staring and speculating? Would I feel like the odd man out? Nah, there was none of that. I had a wonderful time, and felt even more valued and welcome, since it's no longer a set given that I'm under obligation to go. Which makes these occasions more special; I'm there because I truly want to be there and participate in the joy. I have always loved these particular hosts and their family, and that hasn't changed. I actually felt a bit like the belle of the ball, since so many of the relatives wanted to catch up with me. It feels good to be wanted and appreciated, to have my presence mean something. I'm grateful to all the family members who have made it clear that they still want me in their lives. It's a testament to a number of things, most of all the connection we've shared over the years. Last names, coupledom, and "rules" are all a stupid technicality I have no use for. It's in keeping with my decision to lead with my heart and do what feels good and true, not what's phony, obligatory bullshit.

As I reflect on my new life, I'm so proud of the family tree that has grown tall from roots I have worked my ass off to plant. I am a planter, and so I will keep on doing that. From seed to branch, from trunk to fruit, I will water my family. It's how it's always been, and it's how it will always continue to be. 🌳🍂🌿🍁. Some things change, but not everything. Change is a choice you do not always have to make.

Love, Lady Branches

Listen to Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine

Listen to Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine

Claudia Li

While it is always a thrill to sit at a fashion show, it is a refreshing change of pace to walk around a fashion presentation. Picture a costume exhibit at the Met, just that the clothes are on models. Without fail, I make goofy attempts to get the models to laugh or smile. I'd even settle for basic eye contact. Usually there's no such luck. I once asked a model straight out if she was hungry. Tzvia may or may not have hit me😂.

What's nice about a walk around presentation is that one can slowly peruse the looks, taking in each detail. It's like shopping without the credit card damage. This Claudia Li collection was truly fantastic. Easily one of my favorites, in that I'd wear every piece. The collection had such meaning, since it was inspired by a Turkish fairytale "The Silent Princess". I love anything inspired by a story! I have not yet looked up this particular tale, but Claudia drew themes of hope and fierce determination from to story and transmitted that to her stunning designs. Creating clothing that brings those messages is a magical endeavor. What a beautiful purpose in life; to infuse those essential qualities into garments to be worn by others. Statement fabrics and bright colors juxtaposed shearling and wool. Oversize shawl collars on jackets and suits. Modern suiting in eye popping cactus green. My favorites were the woodland scenes, head to toe whimsy on sequined prints and knits. I loved the long pleated skirts and button down shirts in hot pink, a daring take on conservative. The entire collection was ready to wear, and it's  nice to actually imagine being able to wear the designs. Viewing collections that look like Sesame Street characters on an acid trip is amusing, but that's not doing our wardrobes any favors.   

What I wore to this event was a navy DKNY pantsuit, white leather booties, a brocade vintage coat that I belted, vintage navy gloves, and my fur hat from century 21. Very vintage Russian spy. I'd make the WORST spy btw, I'm way to open and expressive. I'd get everyone killed in five minutes, though I might be able to charm myself out of a tight spot (been known to happen). Mother Nature must have been a lil bloated and pissed that she couldn't fit into her skirt that day, because it was a monsoon. All these fashionistas getting soaked, running for cover. It was pretty funny. The fashion gods must have been having a giant conniption 😂☔️.

Hong Kong Fashion Trade Council

This most innovative representation from Hong Kong showcased a trifecta of talent. Held at Industria, this show crackled with energy and originality. The first designer was Harrison Wong, winner of the prestigious Hong Kong Young Designer's Contest, as well Japan's Grand Prix Contest. The collection was inspired by artist Mark Rothko, focused on a mid 20th century vibe. I loved the blacks and grays with bold shots of orange and electric blue.  I love menswear, and many pieces were very chicly unisex. The oversized sweatshirts and chopped up puffer coat detailing were some highlights. The super modern and fresh collection was refreshingly wearable. It was a very strong way to start the show, and a nice reminder that fashion is indeed meant to enhance our daily lives. Street wear at its utmost best.                   

 Next came designer and visionary tailor, Annette Chan. Her brand, Anveglosa, features leather in the most feminine way. Tea length leather skirts in black, white, and burgundy trailed in soft, buttery waves. The effect was lovely.  Leather goods can often be so stiff, but here it was as ladylike as possible. Head to toe mono chrome topped with matching berets, the key hat of the season, emitted Parisian class. Grommet detailing and intricate leather cutouts kept the unexpected coming. Chan was inspired by female creativity, which was certainly evident in this sophisticated, elegant collection.       

The third designer was the duo of Heaven Please. This team applies art, music, and literature to their creations. The collection was inspired by the novel "Wrong Number" by Liu Yichang. Employing the notion of artistic pop, Heaven Please mixed retro 50's American with modern Hong Kong style. Bold prints, bright colors, oversize ruffles, and tulle straps packed quite a visual punch. These clothes are for the woman who owns her originality and wears it proudly. She experiments, she is daring. My favorite component were the cleverly incorporated words and logos.       

The show represented the best in Hong Kong fashion, giving the audience a wide spectrum in range of design. Three very different designers sending three different messages. It was a fantastic show that wowed from start to finish. It's very exciting to see the genius that continues to emerge from Hong Kong.

What I wore that day was not so basic black underneath a giant, primary color, color block coat. Vintage 80's, I borrowed it from dear friends. My black Mohawk knit hat was the obvious topper. My bag that day was a backpack shaped like an owl, that I recently bought in tel Aviv at Plazmalab, this crazy cool boutique. The backpack was perfect for "glamping" at NYFW. The true highlight of the day for me was meeting Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra Parks. Phaedra always stood out as a strong, intelligent, centered woman who has emerged from a series of tough spots with grace and clarity. She is a devoted and loving mother, a lawyer, and a businesswomen. She has always had her shit together in the most challenging of times. I made a dash for her, and she didn't blink at seeing this crayola mohawked lunatic charging at her. See? Composure. Housewives unite! She was so warm and inviting, which did not surprise me. Bravo, Phaedra!  Thank you for being the icing on my three tiered fashion cake from Hong Kong 🎂🍰🎂🍰.

Listen to The Scientist by Coldplay

Listen to The Scientist by Coldplay

The Art of a Table

Few things bring me as much joy as artfully setting a table. The Type A domestic diva in me simply can't throw all my carefully prepared food down just anywhere. After I've spent days chopping, shopping, and cooking, serving the food is just as important to me. I love for my guests to have a beautiful experience in my home, so I take great joy in creating those details. It feels really good to be hospitable. Over the years I've learned some easy tricks that will be aesthetically impactful, and I'm so excited to share them with you. First, begin with a certain color palette. My kitchen is black and white, as well as everything in it. Dishes, placemats, furniture. I always use that as my starting point so things don't become a mish mash. An over complicated table is an assault on the senses. I don't need my kitchen or dining room to evoke imagery of being in Times Square. All of my dish-ware and vases are clean, minimalist black and white, so all I needed here was one strong accent color.

I like to use different flowers in only one bold hue. I chose red here as a nod to the holiday season. As well as winter season; pale pink feels weak in the dead of winter. I bought several different types of flowers and berries in the same shade of deep red. Different shades don't look as clean or tied together.  Roses, gerber daisies, and lush branches of holiday berries all set the mood, accented by red leaves. The branches of berries laid around the table gave a beautiful "in the woods" feel. Little berry branches on each place setting was a sweet and consistent detail.

My favorite dishes, serving pieces, and vases are inexpensive from CB2. My Jewish kitchen uses white squares for meat, and white circles for dairy. All white just different shapes. Easy to keep separate. I use the same stuff over and over, but I'll put a different spin on it each time. I love these gray River Rock placemats. They add a touch of sophisticated nature, and lend great texture to the table decor. The rectangular mats and square plates give a clean, geometric vibe. I jazzed up my stemware by using these hand blown glasses I bought in Prague before my wedding. They are the one set of fancy stemware I have, so despite the royal blue, I'll use them anytime. The fresh pop of blue never seems to be a problem.

I love a cleanly folded napkin folded in thirds, placed squarely on the plate, again keeping with the geometry. I love making place cards, it makes people feel so welcome. These little black, iron fruits hold place cards. They're more country kitchen, so they add some softness to the more modern theme. Everything I used here are things I've had for many years. I used to think I had to run out and buy new stuff whenever I entertained. Or order professionally arranged flowers, which were a fortune. How stupid was that?? After all, a beautifully set table is great, but it's really a support to colorful, healthy food eaten by colorful, healthy guests who have come together to share a meal.   

Before the main dishes come out, be sure to have a good assortment of salty and sweet stuff to Nosh on. Little white serving bowls keep your variations in line visually. Bowls of dates, dried peas, cherry tomatoes for the red theme, along with mason jars of my homemade party nuts were enough to nibble on without being filling. I used to plow people with appetizers, trying to show off. So dumb; people would fill up too quickly and ignore my slaved over main dishes. When I put out desert, I again chose a color scheme. This time, I did different candies in white. Red would have been overkill, and I loved the winter white candy. I bought it all from Party City. The gummy bears were a fun addition of color. Cherries and strawberries tastefully and naturally include the red.  I happen to not like candy, I'm a cookie cake chocolate gal, but most folks love it. It's an adorable, easy way to serve an assortment of joy. My white ceramic Chinese takeout containers are the coolest display for candy. They pull everything together on the black and white chevron striped tray. When I first got married and had yet to cultivate any taste, my stuff was a million different colors and patterns. The apartment on Friends/ Shabby Chic vibe was more popular, but it never looked the way I wanted it to. I eventually gave all those things away to newlyweds in need, through my synagogue. Now I stick to the white and black rule, the cheaper the better. Attractive white kitchenware is ubiquitous. It's the easiest way to make your food the star of the show. Now go have fun, and make sure to eat your own food that you've worked so hard to prepare. A beautiful, inviting home is one of the points to life. It represents a beautiful, inviting hostess and person, which you are.

Love, LB

Carrot Soup

Though I love hot soup all year round, there's something special about eating it during the winter. The calm, rhythmic chopping, the sizzle of the sautée, the simmering, and the aroma truly warms both the kitchen, as well as the soul. Soups are such a healthy, clean way to begin (or be) a meal.

I've been going to town with my immersion blender lately. It's my fave kitchen tool. I get that soups can be intimidating to attempt if you're not used to it. However, you can make a wonderful, easy soup with vegetables, stock, and seasonings. It's quite simple, but you'll feel like a culinary rock star. Soups freeze wonderfully, I divide them into pints and take out as needed. My second daughter is loving all these new puréed soups I've been playing with. This carrot soup is delicious and not scary. The color is lovely and seasonal. It's great for babies as well since it is puréed. Not that it ever once occurred to me to make this for my babies when they were younger👶🏻😜. If this makes a lot for you, just divide and freeze.

You'll need:

• Three bags of large carrots, peeled and cut into chunks.
• A medium onion diced.
• A large dried bay leaf
• A packed cup and a half of chopped fresh dill.
• A tsp of grated fresh ginger, grated on the medium hole size on a box grater. The ginger is optional, add more if you like that flavor intensified, but be careful since it's so strong. Ginger also clears your sinuses.
• A teaspoon each of garlic powder and cumin.
• Two tsp salt.
• 3/4 tsp fine ground black pepper.
• A third cup of white cooking wine.
• Two to three boxes of vegetable broth/stock. 

Prepare carrots and set aside. Heat some olive oil in a soup pot and sauté the diced onion until very aromatic and starting to turn golden. Deglaze the pot with the white wine as the pot dries during sautéing. This adds a nice undercurrent of flavor. Layering flavors is so crucial in cooking.

When the onions are ready, add all the other ingredients except the dill. Cover and bring to a boil, then lower the flame to a simmer for about 45 minutes. Add dill after you reached your simmer point. The carrots should be very soft, so simmer more as needed.

When ready, remove from heat and uncover. I like to let this rest and release some steam before I blend, about twenty minutes. Forget that if you're in a rush. Blend the soup with your immersion blender, handling the tool carefully. Add salt and pepper to taste after testing it first. Garnish with a sprinkling of extra chopped dill, and toasted pumpkin seeds as croutons. Honestly, this is the basic formula for a good, simple soup. Onion, vegetables of choice, broth, spices, and blend. Done.

About an hour from start to finish, but you're only working for the first fifteen minutes and the last two. The rest of the time is yours to relax (yeah, right) and enjoy knowing what you're cooking up for your family. I cannot resist wishing you a "soup er" day. Sorry not sorry, I love me a play on words. But you knew that.

Love, Lady Soup er Fly